Venting Thread, or FML!

[RMDC]

You have my deepest sympathies! I hate opening the door to my neighbors, let alone strangers! I've got two kids, three cats, and a dog - my house is never clean. Even if it was being maintained 24-7 by a professional cleaning staff, I hate that shoulder-peeping invasion! I have a home so that I don't have to be in the world all the time; why does the world try to shove its way into my home?

[QueenBex]

I have a home so that I don't have to be in the world all the time; why does the world try to shove its way into my home?

Well said!

[kurokuni23]

Feeling a bit odd since this is the first time I've considered posting here but...I figure I'll give it a bit of a go and get this off my chest.

This last year has not been well. Last January my boyfriend of 4 years, a wonderful man I knew since high school decided to commit suicide and succeed. I've been coping well enough the last couple months, but the fact that it's been a year since his death has really hit me in the face. I really just don't know what to think.

Not counting the fact that aside from one or two meetings his family (both sides of it) have officially cut me out of their life, despite my attempts to talk.

I do have the love and support from my family, but it's hard being left behind in all this.

[cirestan]

My thoughts are with you, Kuro.
Hang in there. The fact that his family has given you the cold shoulder is unfortunate, and signifies that they need someone, anyone, to blame, even completely unjustified. It also may be an indicator of the underlying issues that led your boyfriend down the very unfortunate path he chose.
You are a good and worthy person, and are blessed that you have a family that loves you.

[Eliste]

This last year has not been well. Last January my boyfriend of 4 years, a wonderful man I knew since high school decided to commit suicide and succeed. I've been coping well enough the last couple months, but the fact that it's been a year since his death has really hit me in the face. I really just don't know what to think.

I went to a grief thing in my last job (where I worked in a cancer ward) and one of the things they said was that for many people it wasn't until after a year that things began to go back to any sort of "normal" and that anniversaries are always going to bring things up a lot more. I think its perfectly understandable that you would be feeling a lot at this point in time and its important to know that not only is it normal, but its really only the beginning. Things will get better. It may not happen today, or tomorrow, but some time in the future you'll wake up and realise "you know what? things have gone back to ok."

Getting cut off is, I'm sure, really hard, but understandable from their point of view, too. You should be looking for support outside of his family, and prioritising what you need to feel better yourself. Considering a therapist/counsellor is not a bad idea. If you're in college still, you can probably get a free one via the school, even though its not school related. I'd really recommend finding a professional as I chose not to deal with my own grief and landed in therapy the hard way some 12 years later.

Be kind to yourself, and know that there are people out here rooting for you. *hugs*

[kurokuni23]

*hugs back* Thanks Eliste & cirestan.

I have been seeing a professional therapist for a while now, and have moved in with my brother at the moment so I have someone keeping an eye on me. I tend to take better care of myself when with others (which means remembering I need food to function).

Again, thanks so much.

Everyone on here is Awesome.

[rockinwithrammstein]

I know my vent isn't really much compared to a lot of the previous ones I've read, but it's something that's causing me real problems lately. I was on an antidepressant and noticed I started getting headaches. My antidepressant was working very well for the depression and headaches aside, I felt like myself again. My doctor was concerned about the headaches, so she cut me off cold turkey and switched me to a different kind (one that's not SSRI). I've been off the original antidepressant for about a month now, and I'm still getting regular headaches.

Here's the vent part: My new antidepressant is causing me to be extremely aggressive and I have certain thoughts that I don't like. My doctor is refusing to change me back to the Zoloft for some reason. I go talk to my therapist tomorrow, but it's my primary care doctor that has to "okay" any medicines I take. She won't okay my Zoloft. I'm so desperate to go back to feeling like myself again. I can't afford to be aggressive and mean when I have two small children and I'm so angry and frustrated and I really just have hated the world. I'm on edge all the time. My anxiety is really, really, really high. I am constantly feeling like I'm going to cry for no reason at all.

I'm hoping that my therapist will be able to help me out and maybe help me sway her. I'm just so tired of feeling like this

[blackmageheart]

rockin, that sucks. I've changed antidepressants about 6 or 7 times now but never cold turkey like you have. (I'm on sertraline, or what you call zoloft, now and it is the best one so far.) I do know that it can take up to 6 weeks for initial side-effects to stop, so it could be that your aggressive mood will wear off in time. Do you mind if I ask which meds you are on now?
I would definitely talk to your therapist about how you are feeling, they may be able to suggest something behavioural that you can do. And keep pushing your doctor to go back to the zoloft!

[rockinwithrammstein]

rockin, that sucks. I've changed antidepressants about 6 or 7 times now but never cold turkey like you have. (I'm on sertraline, or what you call zoloft, now and it is the best one so far.) I do know that it can take up to 6 weeks for initial side-effects to stop, so it could be that your aggressive mood will wear off in time. Do you mind if I ask which meds you are on now?
I would definitely talk to your therapist about how you are feeling, they may be able to suggest something behavioural that you can do. And keep pushing your doctor to go back to the zoloft!

I'm on bupropion or whatever it's called. Wellbutrin, I think? My doctor told me to tough it out last time I was in her office, so I'm hoping that maybe once I talk to her again, which will put me at the 6 week mark, she'll switch me back. I can't live like this. My kids don't deserve it.

When I told my therapist about her cutting me off cold turkey, he asked me if she was crazy, so I figured it must not have been a good idea.

[blackmageheart]

I'm on bupropion or whatever it's called. Wellbutrin, I think? My doctor told me to tough it out last time I was in her office, so I'm hoping that maybe once I talk to her again, which will put me at the 6 week mark, she'll switch me back. I can't live like this. My kids don't deserve it.

When I told my therapist about her cutting me off cold turkey, he asked me if she was crazy, so I figured it must not have been a good idea.

One of the main side effects for bupropion is actually headaches! The effects may settle down in time, but you were probably better off on the zoloft anyway because it sounds like it was helping you to feel a bit more "normal".
And your therapist is right, it is crazy! When changing antidepressants you have to adjust the dosage slowly, or you end up suffering side effects from the sudden withdrawal. That could also have contributed to how you are feeling right now.

I wish I knew how to help other than to send love and hugs your way <3