Venting Thread, or FML!

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LinkIsMyHomeboy
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by LinkIsMyHomeboy »

Kareesh wrote:I swear, if one more person announces that they're pregnant, I'm going to scream. 2 people this week announced they're pregnant. One of them has been going on and on about how they'll never have another kid, they're kid is perfect, they have things in place so that they won't get pregnant for 5 years, etc. etc. etc. Well, their daughter just turned 3 and guess what? She's pregnant. *sighs* Then this other couple just had a kid, and they're having another one in December. Like, seriously, they're having 2 kids in one year.

I am happy for them, I really am, but I'm becoming a little bit cynical. I have been trying for a year and a half and nothing. A year and a half. I mean, we're not trying that hard, so I'm trying not to stress out about it, but...I dunno. I know I should be happy as we just bought a house and that's a good, but...I dunno. I just want another kid. I actually broke down the other night crying. My husband is all like "You should be happy for your friends". I don't think he understands how really hard it for me to feel....inadequate, I guess. I know I've bitched about this before, but when it seems like half my friends list is pregnant or just had a kid, the same crap resurfaces again.
Maybe you don't want to hear from me as I am literally days away from having my baby, but I completely understand what you are going through. Before I got pregnant, my husband and I had been trying for four years. Four. Years. Nothing. And on top of that, I had been told I have PCOS so I felt "broken." It was very hard for me to hear about people getting pregnant...I even skipped baby showers because the thought of going just made me so sad. I was, of course, happy for my friends, but it seemed like it was just being shoved in my face that it wasn't going to happen for me. Honestly, we were pretty much 99% on board with the idea that we didn't want kids and then BAM! I got pregnant. I think when we stopped worrying, that's when my body decided it was okay for me to have a baby. I really hope it happens for you a lot sooner than it did for me.

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carand88
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by carand88 »

it's a long one.
Spoiler
i am in a conflict between my heart and my brain. mentioned that i recently broke up with my ex, and things have been less than happy. depressed, crazy mood swings, and even though i have my family behind me, they're over protective and have always wanted me to do what they want me to do versus doing my own thing, and my mother is worse about it than my dad, at least in terms of voicing it. i currently live with them while i try to get my feet under me again, but my mother is badgering me to spend more time with them so they don't feel like they're being "used." i understand, but on the other hand, i really don't want to be with people right now, at least not them, not really. they were really unsupportive of the relationship from the beginning and things were said on both fronts that were hurtful that i haven't completely resolved within myself, and they don't trust me and i don't quite trust them, either. i hope to move at the end of august with my friend, who lives in another state, which is wonderful. i am still talking with my ex on occasion, but even that has become strained to me. we currently live a couple hours away, and since he doesn't have a vehicle, he wants me to come down and visit him for his peace of mind. i'm moving away soon, and this weekend is the only weekend i could feasibly go down and see him, since my parents are going to see some family and i start work sunday night (hate nights). my parents, obviously, don't want me to ever see him ever again and would consider it some sort of act of rebellion if i ever saw him again and believe that i would enter into a relationship with him again if i did. my friend thinks it's a better idea not to see him, too, but made it sound more like it's ultimately my decision to make. my empathetic heart feels for the depression he is enduring without me, and wants to go and see him just one last time before i leave probably forever. my brain says, "moron, you'll just make it worse for yourself, and ultimately him if you go down." i actually asked him how me going down would help him, if it would motivate him to get on with his life and make himself better, but he just said something along the lines of "it would give me peace of mind to have you in my arms one last time" and i find that to be bs and not good enough of a reason. however, i'm going to be home alone ALL weekend, and going down to see him would give me something to do, whether my parents like it or not. i'm so lost right now, and feel that any decision i make is the wrong one or would hurt someone in the end. if i hurt him, i'm afraid he'll do something to get himself killed intentionally, and he has mentioned suicide once or twice. his depression is knawing at me, and every time i say something encouraging or supportive, he pushes it aside and nit picks it, saying how his "situation" could never be changed, even though i know if he worked on it, even slightly, he would be doing fine. he needs a therapist just as much as i do, but he's too stubborn to actually go to one and take anything from it. if i hurt my parents, well, god knows what they'll do. probably stop supporting me, ever, and i need what i can get, at this point. on the other hand, i have almost never done anything they disapproved of, and going down to see him, one last time, would be one of the first times i ever truly defied them. i mean, i'm 26, i should be able to make my own decisions and not be guilted by my parents to not do something. i only have 1 really good friend right now, and then i have my ex who has become something of a friend to me, too, and i would hate to lose any person i consider a friend at this point. i'm introverted with a bit of a social anxiety, so i try to keep what friends i can. anyway, the main question here is: do i go down and see him one last time or do i make my parents happy, like i've been doing practically my whole life, and stay away from him?

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Kareesh
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by Kareesh »

LinkIsMyHomeboy wrote:
Kareesh wrote:I swear, if one more person announces that they're pregnant, I'm going to scream. 2 people this week announced they're pregnant. One of them has been going on and on about how they'll never have another kid, they're kid is perfect, they have things in place so that they won't get pregnant for 5 years, etc. etc. etc. Well, their daughter just turned 3 and guess what? She's pregnant. *sighs* Then this other couple just had a kid, and they're having another one in December. Like, seriously, they're having 2 kids in one year.

I am happy for them, I really am, but I'm becoming a little bit cynical. I have been trying for a year and a half and nothing. A year and a half. I mean, we're not trying that hard, so I'm trying not to stress out about it, but...I dunno. I know I should be happy as we just bought a house and that's a good, but...I dunno. I just want another kid. I actually broke down the other night crying. My husband is all like "You should be happy for your friends". I don't think he understands how really hard it for me to feel....inadequate, I guess. I know I've bitched about this before, but when it seems like half my friends list is pregnant or just had a kid, the same crap resurfaces again.
Maybe you don't want to hear from me as I am literally days away from having my baby, but I completely understand what you are going through. Before I got pregnant, my husband and I had been trying for four years. Four. Years. Nothing. And on top of that, I had been told I have PCOS so I felt "broken." It was very hard for me to hear about people getting pregnant...I even skipped baby showers because the thought of going just made me so sad. I was, of course, happy for my friends, but it seemed like it was just being shoved in my face that it wasn't going to happen for me. Honestly, we were pretty much 99% on board with the idea that we didn't want kids and then BAM! I got pregnant. I think when we stopped worrying, that's when my body decided it was okay for me to have a baby. I really hope it happens for you a lot sooner than it did for me.
I was hoping you wouldn't think this was directed at you, hon. :)

I think it's more of people who have had kids and are having their 2nd or 3rd and they're all my age or younger. I'm just hoping to throw myself into this move and hopefully that'll get my mind off it for a bit. I'm really trying not to worry and part of me is pretty convinced we're probably only going to have the one. But...yeah...just trying not to worry and fret is my main thing at the moment.
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blackmageheart
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by blackmageheart »

@carand88
Spoiler
It is ultimately up to you whether you do go and see him, but before you decide, think about the reasons. Why do you need to see him? Is it for his sake, or yours? Either way, it's probably not a good idea to visit him. I think it'll make things more difficult for both of you. However, you shouldn't decide based on what other people think. You have to make a choice about what's right for you - not ex, not friends, not parents. Hope you resolve things soon xx
@Kareesh
Spoiler
I feel for you, I'm in a similar way myself. I would love another child, but I've pretty much given up on it now. What makes things worse is friends and family having babies (and in some cases I won't go into, babies they don't deserve to have) all around me. I mean, I'm happy for them, of course I am, but there's a part of me that is envious. I would suggest not worrying about it, because that's usually when it happens!
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SheWhoRoars
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by SheWhoRoars »

One of my best friends just got kicked out of our college, so she has to move out of our apartment. She's barely been home because of work anyway, but I always knew that I would see her at night, and we could talk until the wee hours, but now that she's leaving, I'll only get to see her on her days off. She's been such a support to me, and I honestly just feel like breaking down in tears when I think of the fact that I won't get to see her very much anymore, and that all of her stuff is going to be gone. It feels way less like home now. It'd been a rough week anyway, but this just puts the icing on the cake.

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blackmageheart
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by blackmageheart »

Ugh, that sucks. I hope you stay in contact with her, because you wouldn't want to lose a good friend. Hugs!
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by Aegidia »

I could write a very long post here, or I could just say: My boyfriend is Greek. Yeah. I may or may not be refreshing three news sites every ten seconds even though I know official results won't be in for hours yet because it's too close to call.

ETA: Well, never mind: apparently every single opinion poll got it wrong with their roughly 48%-52%, and no is actually winning 60/40. How do polls get it so consistently wrong?!

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blackmageheart
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by blackmageheart »

Aegidia wrote:I could write a very long post here, or I could just say: My boyfriend is Greek.
I would have been interested in that very long post, but I think we all get what you are saying.
Aegidia wrote:ETA: Well, never mind: apparently every single opinion poll got it wrong with their roughly 48%-52%, and no is actually winning 60/40. How do polls get it so consistently wrong?!
I wouldn't say consistently, occasionally polls are accurate. What often skews the polls is that the people being polled sometimes say they will vote one way, and then vote another way (possibly out of shame or embarrassment at their actual voting inclinations). Personally I thought the OXI vote in Greece would be higher, given the level of demands by the troika, which are rather harsh towards the Greek people. Austerity is a complete con and doesn't promote growth in an economy, so any further austerity will only stifle the Greeks' ability to repay the bailout funds (hence the reason the IMF have suggested a period of debt relief.)

Economics and politics aside, I'd like to know what life is like for the regular people of Greece. Is the withdrawal limit severely affecting ability to purchase everyday items, if those items are available? What sort of information are they getting about the situation, if any?

Finally, I really hope that Greece comes through this OK (with or without ΣΥΡΙΖΑ, I have left-wing views and even I can't stomach some of that coalition) and can recover in all meaningful ways. :)
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by Aegidia »

blackmageheart wrote:Economics and politics aside, I'd like to know what life is like for the regular people of Greece. Is the withdrawal limit severely affecting ability to purchase everyday items, if those items are available? What sort of information are they getting about the situation, if any?
On Saturday, my father in law called us to vent about a No-campaigner who was going around the houses in FIL's neighbourhood, ringing doorbells and asking people what they were going to vote. If they said they were going to vote 'yes', the man noted down their name from the doorbell or letterbox. My FIL had an argument with the man, finally saying "So give me your name then." To which the man replied: "No way, if you want to come find me, come find me. I know where to find you." and left. This is what the military juncta did pre-1974, going door to door, noting down names of dissenters. This was a threat. My FIL lived through it then and is living through it again now.

Information is biased. Reporting is based mostly on what Tsipras and Varoufakis say, with little to no attention paid to whether it's true. Varoufakis says 'a deal is close, we will have a deal on Monday', Dijsselbloem says 'he is making that up, we have not received a new proposal from Athens nor have we spoken to them'? (this was said on Friday) Only Varoufakis' POV is reported. They do not give interviews where critical questions are asked. Varoufakis walked out of an interview this week when the (Greek) interviewer said: "You say the banks will not collapse, but you also said on Saturday there would not be capital controls, and yet on Monday there were capital controls."

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blackmageheart
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Re: Venting Thread, or FML!

Post by blackmageheart »

Wow, that is some bad stuff happening. I didn't think that the no camp was so radical, but I suppose that was probably likely given the radicals in government. The biased reporting doesn't surprise me, although I'd hoped for a bit more objectivity from both sides. We're definitely not getting the full picture here in the UK, I know that. I guess for now, everyone just has to wait and see what the troika's response to Tsipras will be - I don't expect it to be good.
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